Maybe This Was A Bad Idea
by Shiranui-Sensei
Summary: What happens when Mikoto, Naruto, and Kyuubi decide that it's time for the Uchiha men to loosen up a bit? Fagu/Miko Sasu/Naru Ita/Kyuu One-shot Warnings inside. Sasu/Naru lemon at the end. Ita/Kyuuaction in chapter 2
1. The plan

**A/N: **I needed a break from that failure I call a story, so I have decided to write a humorous one-shot about the Uchiha men getting a bit high on caffeine.. Ehehe..

**Warnings: **Language, misuse of caffeine, lemon of the Sasu/Naru variety, and some fail humor.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own. If I did, Orochimaru would be a transvestite hooker. (Not that I have anything against cross-dressers. =3)

**Maybe This Was A Bad Idea…**

New years eve at the Uchiha mansion was a bit… Dull to say the least. The Uzumaki brothers, Kyuubi and Naruto sat next to their respective lovers and tried not to fall asleep while Mikoto Uchiha tried, unsuccessfully, to stat a conversation with her husband.

"Psst, Sasuke!" Naruto hissed, poking his boyfriend in the side.

"Be quiet, dobe." Sasuke grumbled, glaring at Naruto.

Naruto huffed and looked across the table at Kyuubi. "Psst. Kyuu!"

"What?" Kyuubi asked quietly, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy. His red hair fell over his equally red eyes before it was brushed away by Itachi.

"I'm bored!" Naruto complained quietly. Kyuubi nodded in agreement.

"Naru-chan, Kyuu-chan can you boys give me a hand in the kitchen?" Mikoto asked suddenly. The boys nodded and followed her.

Once they were all in the kitchen, Mikoto smiled secretively. "I think it's time we liven things up a bit in there, ne?" Naruto and Kyuubi exchanged foxy grins before nodding.

"What did you have planned?" Kyuubi asked, evil grin in place.

Five minutes later, they returned from the kitchen and handed out coffee to the Uchiha men before sitting back down to wait.

After all, they may have added some caffeine shots to said coffee.

Not long after, the painful silence was broken by none other than Faguku Uchiha. The head of the family suddenly burst out laughing at nothing and scared everyone in the room. The usually serious man was laughing so hard that tears ran from his eyes.

Naruto leaned over to Mikoto and whispered. "What exactly did you put in his coffee?" Mikoto blinked. "Nothing but the caffeine shots and some sugar…" She murmured in reply, watching her husband with a deer-in-the-headlights look.

Naruto shuddered and turned to look at Sasuke, who was talking to Itachi about something. Naruto and Kyuubi shared a look before leaning closer to listen.

"So then I was like 'Orochimaru is a pedo!' and they were all like '!' and…" Sasuke leaned in to whisper something to Itachi, who straight-up giggled and replied. "No way!" Kyuubi looked at his brother and raised an eyebrow. Naruto just blinked.

Faguku had finally sobered up from his laughing fit and had joined in the conversation with his sons. "Did I ever tell you two about the time I got drunk with the Fourth Hokage?" Sasuke and Itachi shook their heads 'no' and leaned in to listen. "Well. I don't exactly remember what happened but I woke up the next morning covered in whipped cream and tied to a tree. Weird, right?" Sasuke and Itachi nodded while Naruto, Kyuubi, and Mikoto paled and moved away.

The conversation changed again when Itachi suddenly jumped up and declared that he needed to paint his nails again, running off to his room to get his black nail polish.

Sasuke tilted his head to the side and stared at Itachi for a moment before gasping. "I just realized something!" He declared, bouncing up and down like a hyperactive child. "What?" Itachi asked. "I'm a sex addict!" Sasuke declared with a huge grin. "And now I'm horny… Naru-chan!" He cooed. "Oh hell no!" Naruto squeaked, hiding behind Kyuubi, who was dragged off by Itachi a moment later (Who was complaining that Sasuke's declaration had made him horny as well.). Faguku had long since fallen asleep from caffeine-crash.

Sasuke gave a predatory grin before picking Naruto up and hoisting the poor blonde over his shoulder and carrying him off to his lair.

Naruto gave a soft 'oof!' as he was thrown onto the bed and straddled by a lust-driven Uchiha. Sasuke wasted no time stripping the blonde before removing his own shirt and attacking Naruto's mouth with his own.

Naruto moaned wantonly as Sasuke's tongue massaged his own and bucked his hips, all prior hesitation forgotten. Sasuke trailed kisses down Naruto's chest and sucked his nipples, making the blonde arch up and groan loudly. "Mmh. Sasuke!" Naruto moaned, twining the fingers of one hand in his love's dark hair. "Ah!" Sasuke smirked and twirled his tongue in Naruto's navel, enjoying the little mews and purrs he got before moving again and taking the blonde's hard length into his mouth. He reached up and placed three fingers in Naruto's mouth. The blonde sucked and wetted the fingers until Sasuke deemed them lubed enough and moved them to search for Naruto's enterence.

Naruto mewled and squirmed against the teasing fingers that stretched him. "Mmm.. Ah! Sasuke! Quit teasing!" He howled in pleasure as Sasuke's fingers rubbed against his prostate. Sasuke chuckled and removed his fingers, positioning himself at Naruto's enterence. He slowly slid in, fighting the urge to just hammer into the little blonde. Naruto groaned and lifted his hips slightly, allowing Sasuke to slip in fully. The raven gave a moments pause before drawing back and thrusting in, setting a slow but hard pace. Naruto practically melted into a pile of mewls and heavy breathing. Occasional whimpers of 'more' or 'harder' could be heard from the blonde as Sasuke complied, picking up his pace. Sasuke grabbed Naruto's neglected member and stroked it in time with his thrusts. "Aah! SASUKE!" Naruto screamed as he came, back arching and warm cum splattering on both men's chests. The raven gave a rough groan and thrust in as deeply as he could go before cumming, hard.

Sasuke collapsed on top of his blonde and yawned before rolling off onto his side. "Happy new years, by the way." Naruto murmured, snuggling into Sasuke's chest. Sasuke chuckled and sat up, recovered from his caffeine high. "C'mon, lets get cleaned up before bed."

**A/N: **There we have it. See? I'm better at one-shots!

Anyone want to request a one-shot? Just tell me what you want it to be about. ^ . ^

Ja ne

Shayde-sensei


	2. Um, Tobi?

**A/N:** Soo… I was in the shower and thought of this… And laughed my ass off, so I hope it's good. Hehe.

**Warnings**: Yaoi… Swearing…. Drunken Tobi…. Er… Bad humor?

**Disclaimer:** Don't own…

**Beta:** Nope.

**IxK**

Kyuubi moaned as Itachi attacked his neck with nips and wet kisses. "Ah.. 'Tachi… Room…" His words came out as growly moans that made Itachi chuckle. "Mmm." The raven sighed, dragging the redhead down the hall toward his bedroom. They exchanged a flurry of hot kisses and tugged at each others' clothes as they entered the room.. Only to pause and stare at the bed… Or, per say, who was on the bed… Tobi. Tied up. Wearing only his mask… itachi paled, clutched his stomach, and ran to the nearest bathroom to vomit. Kyuubi, on the other hand, paled and fell into a dead faint out of shock. Tobi laughed gleefully and jumped up (he had only been pretending to be tied up) and ran out of the room yelling "Happy new year! Tobi is a good boy!"

**SxN**

In Sasuke's room, the younger raven lifted his head from where it had been nestled in blond spikes after round 7 of the night and groaned. "Who let Tobi out of the basement?" Naruto blinked up at him and replied "You keep a family member in the basement?" Sasuke just shrugged and got up, getting dressed and leaving the room to see what was going on. Naruto had followed suit but was a bit slower, yelling. "Woah there, Bastard! Slow down! My ass hurts!" Only to be ignored…

**Um.. F?**

Downstairs Faguku had woken up and was drinking a cup of tea when the very naked Tobi ran by. He comically spit out his tea and stared wide-eyed at the door where Tobi had run away. The kitchen.. He sighed and decided to leave it to Mikoto.

Tobi ran into the kitchen and squealed when he saw Mikoto. She was standing near the counter, huge-ass knife in hand, giving him the famous Uchiha glare. "Tobi…" She growled. "Back to your room! You're grounded! I told you to stay out of the sake!" Tobi yelped and ran to the basement. The door to which conveniently had a plate saying "Tobi's room" on it. Faguku, Itachi, Kyuubi, Sasuke, and Naruto were watching bemusedly from the doorway. "So." Mikoto said, breaking the rather awkward silence. "Do you boys want anything to drink?" Kyuubi smiled foxily at her and replied "I'll have what Tobi was having…" Naruto laughed and bounced, then winced and complained that his ass hurt before replying. "Oh! Oh! Me too!" Sasuke and Itachi rolled their eyes while Faguku and Mikoto shared an amused look.

"Well." Faguku stated. "This was definitely an… Interesting new year…" Everyone laughed.

A/N: The end. Eheheh… Hope you enjoyed. I was in the shower and thought "So, what if Tobi just randomly started streaking?" then started laughing my ass off.. Everyone in my house probably thought I was high or something… But me no likey drugs. I'm strange enough without them, thank you very much. =3


End file.
